It’s taken a while for me to get to the point where I felt comfortable writing this…and really it’s because it’s taken a while for me to get to the point where I felt like I was starting to feel like myself again. I’ve described my recent time as a “tough season” for my family and me. This is true, and while there’s been many great things and some very special moments, there have also been some very tough moments and struggles. This has been especially true for me personally as I feel like in some ways it has been one of the toughest struggles of my life. Continue reading
I was fortunate enough to get to spend part of my Father’s Day on stage at our church for our daughter’s dedication. I am so blessed to be the Dad of two wonderful kids and I thank God daily for that opportunity. Below is what I shared in a blog post and what I originally said on Facebook about my son’s dedication back when he was just a few months old. I still feel that that the words I said then are the best way I can explain how I feel about this. Continue reading
I haven’t always thought about it very often, but sometimes when I do I feel both sadness and shame and ask myself…”why don’t I think about it more?” “Why am I not bothered by this all the time?” Continue reading
One of the things I’m realizing more and more as I go with this parenting thing is that it’s not my job to tell my son who he should be or what he should do, but rather to guide and support him as he finds his own path. Early on that may involve a bit more firm boundaries and direction, but the older and more capable he gets the more I need to allow him (within reason) to make his own decisions, make mistakes, then learn from those mistakes and try to fix them himself. Experience and failure are extremely good motivators and I hope to guide my son and give him the chance to encounter plenty of both. However, there are definitely some thoughts and suggestions I would love to give him as he grows and hope that he finds comfort and guidance in my words. Below I’ve jotted down a few thoughts I hope to share with my son and my daughter as well when she joins us.
-I believe that God created me and Jesus saved me and that living my life for him is the best thing I can do. I sin and fall short often and have definitely had times of doubt, but I know he’s always there for me and always forgives and loves me. I will never force you to believe what I believe, but I will pray for you always and hope you choose to follow God and glorify him somehow. I want you to know that I will love you always, no matter what you choose or do, whether we always agree or not, there is nothing that can take away my love for you!
-Family is the most important thing in my life and I hope that as you grow discover how important family is. Not all families are supportive and functional, and so if you have family that is (and you definitely do :), make sure to cherish and make time for them. For me jobs, career, hobbies, opportunities and dreams…all take a back seat to supporting and taking care of my family, and there is nothing more important than spending quality time with the people you love.
-There is nothing that you “can’t” do but probably quite a few things you may not be able to do well. Try your best, practice hard, and focus on doing more of the things you are successful at and trying to improve on the things you struggle with.
-My son, if you are like me and lots of men you will have to work hard to control your thoughts and your eyes as they can often lead you astray. Be strong mentally and talk and act respectfully to women and you will have lasting relationships based on mutual love and understanding. My daughter, be a strong woman. Define for yourself who you are and what you want to do. As you grow, associate yourself with people who will support and honor you and appreciate you for more than your looks.
-Always remember to take time for fun! You are never too old to play 🙂 Life is hard and stressful…being an adult can often be no fun…make sure to take time to act like a kid and try to laugh and smile often.
-There is a lot of hatred and anger and fear in the world. I encourage you to treat every person with love and respect regardless of whether they look like you or believe what you do. Listening, learning and trying to understand other perspectives and backgrounds will help you find and define yourself.
This is fatherhood…
Tonight I thought I’d keep it short and sweet. This is a post I made on Facebook about my son’s dedication back when he was just a few months old. I still strongly feel this way and feel the same way about my baby on the way. I believe that God gave us all freewill, and my duty as a parent is not to impose my beliefs on my children, but rather to share what I believe and feel, and then support and guide them as they make their own decisions and go on their own journey. I can’t and won’t force them to believe what I believe and do what I do, but I will show them how I feel and what I think, and I will encourage them to discover their path and calling. I sincerely hope their lives in some way glorify him, and that they choose to follow him, but I will never ever stop loving them and being there for them no matter what they choose or decide. Without further ado…
“My son…it was an honor to be up on that stage with you at your dedication at church tonight. We promise that we will always do our best to raise you in a Godly home and try to teach you what Christ has taught us. Know that you will always have the choice to choose your path; we hope and pray that it is the one God chooses for you, but no matter what we will always love and be there for you. We thank God for you every day and are so blessed to get to watch you grow up. We love you son!”
This is fatherhood…