This is both awesome and terrifying at the same time…these little people that come and change our lives forever are watching and mirroring everything we do. It’s adorable: “Daddy I want to wear a hat too” and scary: (he already has mastered his own I’m upset/disappointed with you face probably very much based off mine) and is ultimately a very humbling reminder to check my own attitude and behavior before attempting to change someone else’s.
His moods often reflect the mood that I’m in. When I yell or get mad he tends to respond likewise, but when I speak calmly, patiently and ask him to take deep breaths like me, he also tends to respond calmly and patiently and take very exaggerated deep breaths like me. I’m not a man who curses or says a lot of inappropriate (for little ears) things, but I’ve definitely had to change the way I speak and how I react to things. I now say “oh my goodness” nearly all the time whether in my son’s company or not.
This is an amazing blessing to have this much impact and inspiration on someone’s life. It’s incredibly heartwarming and can make you feel great about yourself. However it can quickly become sobering and even horrifying when you think about them modeling your own mistakes and flaws. My plan to combat the latter: openness and honesty and sincerity. My son will know I’m not perfect and make plenty of mistakes. He’ll know that I am going to own up to those mistakes and ask forgiveness. He’ll also hopefully know that this is a tough skill to learn and that he needs to practice it and use it himself in order to be a person that honors God and that others want to be around.
I can’t and won’t be perfect all the time, I’m going to mess up. My son is going to see my mistakes and may be hurt by my mistakes as well. I have to realize this is a good thing and that it’s an opportunity, not something I should dread.
And also I’m going to squeeze out every last bit of the good of this while I still can, because some day he won’t want to wear the same hat and shirt as I do…he won’t want to do everything with me and just like me, and that will be a good thing! But for now I’m going to cherish every opportunity to match my mini-me, because it is so cool to have someone look up to you and want to be like you so much.
This is two peas in a pod…
This is fatherhood…